I ended up going with the shot this time around.  I’m going to give it a go for this cycle and see what happens with weight, my period, my pains, blah blah blah.  One thing i need to do though is stop reading stories.  There are mixed reviews and its freaking me out.  However i did get that for endo patients its helped with pain. i just dont know what to do anymore.  I feel i should go curl in a ball in a corner and not do anything and just drink a coffee or two…..

And you’re trying not to cry because all you care about is whether or not you’ll be able to have babies. I’m so stressed about changing birth controls bc I’m afraid that the shot or the implants will make it so I can’t have babies when I already have cards stacked against me.

i cant wait to have babies with this man.  Now is just not the right timing, but i cant wait for better timing.  I want cute little boys, but the way he melts into a pile of goo for his niece makes me want girls just so i can see that for his own little girl.  Look at the smile on his face for a hug from her….how can that not make you want babies with him?